30 October 2007

Remembering

Sri Chinmoy wrote a song in 1974 for his students to sing only after he had left the earth:

When I am gone away,
Remember me, O children sweet,

No, not because I failed,
No, not because I cried,
No, not because I tried,

No, not because I saw my Lord in you,
No, not because I served my Lord in you,
No, not because I fulfilled my Lord in you,

No, not because I was your Pilot true,
No, not because I was your ‘Infinite’ blue,

O but because my life was all gratitude, gratitude, gratitude
To you, to you, my children sweet, to you.

*

Once, I stood before Guru like a black thunder cloud. (In the emotional sense, dear reader.) This may have been invisible to anyone with their eyes open but with My Master’s inner sight it would have been painfully obvious. He just started singing over and over a simple song, “My own gratitude heart is all that matters.” It took me a moment to realise that this was his response to me. I don’t recall any immediate miraculous change in my consciousness as a result, but the seeds of my future were sown.

It really is not so easy to be grateful when good things happen or we are feeling happy. We are too busy just being happy or swimming in bliss. Will God complain? Of course not! He just wants us to be happy. He knows the way for us to be happy and we are either crying or really dying to learn it.

On the other hand, when the worst possible things happen, maybe we will be too busy blaming ourselves or God to even think of being grateful. Perhaps we will just be drowning in the ocean of suffering. It seems like a paradox to remember to be grateful for such circumstances, but it will affect a change in us if we can be sincerely grateful. We can then recognise that we do have the opportunity to grow into God’s will. Gratitude is a powerful means of transforming ignorance. A change in perspective is the start to changing ourself.

Once during a meditation, I found this poem inside –

If posion is my due,
Then I will drink
From the cup of death.

It felt like the spirit of Shiva had entered me. He swallowed just the poison from the ocean of the world and all it did was turn his throat blue.

I remember someone saying to me once, “I don’t really like you. I’ve just been pretending to for three years.” I know it was not his angel-heart talking, but I know he was being honest, even sincere by telling me this. With a gratitude smile, it is still hard to believe how sweet these words tasted as I swallowed them.

Gratitude does transform poison to nectar.

Gratitude is the pure breath of heaven that can transmute ignorance.

Even when we are feeling happy, it is not because we are perfect, but because we are approaching perfection in a tangible way. Therefore, if we can remember to be grateful for these particular experiences, gratitude will pave the way for us to become more perfect, which will make us happier. This is God’s will for us.

Everything takes time.

You can listen to Sri Chinmoy singing "Gratitude" at Sri Chinmoy Radio. (Thanks to Shane Magee for providing out the link.)

*

Happy Birthday to me, today I am thirty three. It will be a big day. I am having lunch with 13 people and dinner with 10. My loving parents also sent me so much chocolate. I am off for a run before work now to prepare inwardly for these experiences!

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