I don't know how many of you have heard of Wikihow. It is one of those collaborative sites like Wikipedia. In reality, it is The Idiot's Guide to Being an Idiot. I found my way there somehow and I was drawn immediately to these instructions for dealing with rhinoliths. Call me puerile - I know you want to; but I'm a boy and a few of the lines in this page filled me with glee. Forget the steps: that's just all common-sense, practical advice. What really thrilled me was the tip: "It takes practice to be a pro. Don't worry. You will get there." Again, it was reassuring to read the warning: "Remain in a civil, non-babaric (sic) state. It's cool, but not that big a deal." Sound advice, and one which any young Englishmen would do well to heed before heading off for a spot of Empire building.
Forgive me for wondering, but if you actually need advice on how to deal with this situation are you going to have the wherewithal to find this page on the internet?
Anyway, next time I need a sickie I can now call in and say, "I'm sorry. I won't be in today as I have an acute attack of episodic rhinoliths." It turns out according to Wikipedia, that I would be twice a liar, as a rhinolith is not so common as I was led to believe.
On a separate matter, I was watching 24 with a few friends tonight and it was just getting craaaaazy. Someone suggested next season Jack would be torturing himself. That doesn't seem too hard to believe, having only witnessed a smattering of this show. I'd like to see a 24 where Jack sleeps in and wanders down the shops in his trackies around lunch for a pastie and the paper. We can call it 24 Lite.